


My Soul's Inside Out

by superfandomqueen



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Bad Science, Coma, Druids Are Still Fugly Even If They Are Only Mentioned, Druids Make Weird Shit, Dubious Science, Fake Science, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Forehead Kisses, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Minor Injuries, Miscommunication, Not Sleeping Beauty, Team as Family, The Astral Plane, True Love Fixes All Ails (Not Really But You Know), True Love's Kiss, angst with happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-03
Updated: 2020-02-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:21:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22549240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/superfandomqueen/pseuds/superfandomqueen
Summary: When Pidge and Keith are injured and left in a coma, Lance will do whatever he can to save his teammates, even if that looks drastically different that what the team thinks needs to be done.
Relationships: Allura & Coran & Hunk & Keith & Lance & Pidge | Katie Holt & Shiro, Hunk & Lance (Voltron), Keith & Lance (Voltron), Lance & Pidge | Katie Holt
Comments: 2
Kudos: 38





	My Soul's Inside Out

**Author's Note:**

> Not all love is romantic. True Love's Kiss(TM) being a platonic kiss is what inspired this fic.

Lance sat in front of the cryopods, watching Pidge’s and Keith’s peaceful faces. He had promised the others, that once his turn to be on watch while their teammates healed was over, he’d switch. Not that he would unless there was a change.

All of them needed sleep. They were all burning the midnight oil, trying to make up for two of the Paladins being out of commission.

Hunk and Coran had been fixing the damage to the Castleship while Allura and Shiro were working with the Coalition and organizing meetings.

Lance hadn’t been doing much in comparison. Neither Hunk or Coran wanted his help with fixing up the Castle. Neither of his leaders would want his help with diplomacy. The only thing he had managed is to urge them to sleep and take breaks; trying to prevent them from burning out.

The last thing any of them needed in the middle of a galactic war, was that.

The Blue Paladin huffed, pulling his knees to his chest. Fear and uselessness fought in his chest, neither winning over the other. Guilt burning at the feelings.

“Stupid,” Lance grumbled under his breath.

A cut on Pidge’s cheek shrunk bit by bit. The bruise on Keith collarbone turned a sickly yellow.

Lance didn’t quite know what happened to them. No one really did. Whatever Hunk saw when he found them, he hadn’t shared. The horrified, nauseated look when the topic came up was enough to keep anyone from pushing.

It had been a covert op, to get information and break out some prisoners from the Galra Empire. Hunk, Pidge, and Keith went one way while Lance and Shiro went the other. They had been on the opposite sides of the Galra spaceship when the others had found a lab and guards had found them.

From what Lance gleaned from the cursing and shouting over the comms was Pidge had been thrown into some glass beakers with Keith following. Hunk’s mention of it being a Druid lab… well, Lance’s imagination liked filling in the gaps with increasingly disturbing images.

They were just lucky it wasn’t occupied by a Druid or they would’ve all been screwed. Even knowing that, Lance wasn’t so sure the alternative was any better.

The helplessness that he felt at Pidge’s scream flooded him, bringing back the burning in his eyes. Lance blinked quickly to keep tears from falling, he had already spent enough time crying in fear and frustration. Pulling his blanket tighter, Lance watched his self-proclaimed rival and pseudo brother. He wished they were awake, the team was a mess without them.

Especially Keith, he was the only one that knew Shiro well enough to get him to relax. Even more than that, Pidge being awake would give them at least one person to worry about instead of two.

That being said, she was the baby of the group and one of the most capable, despite only being sixteen.

The thought sobered him enough that the small smile that had stolen its way onto Lance’s face, slipped. They were all so young with so much weight on their shoulders. They were the freaking Defenders of the Universe.

Lance gulped.  _ Defenders of the Universe. _ The weight of being part of the most powerful weapon and the only hope the universe had against the Galra Empire was a lot, for anyone. Let alone a group of kids that hadn’t signed up for it.

Pressing his lips into a thin line, Lance tried to steer his thoughts away from the war. The cryopod beeped drawing his attention.

Getting to his feet, Lance stifled a yawn as he shuffled to the pods. 00:10 gleamed on the timer of Keith’s cryopod.

Lance straightened up, his blanket falling from his hold. 

**00:07**

Lance’s hand found the pod’s surface.

**00:06**

The expression on Keith’s face hadn’t changed. Lance bit his lip with worry. Maybe he needed a few extra seconds to wake up.

**00:05**

Worry clawed at Lance’s chest. Something wasn’t right. The last few seconds there was always an almost disgruntled look on Keith’s face.

**00:04**

Sure, Lance was the one that spent the most time in the pods, but he was the sniper and any close combat always seemed to go badly for him.

**00:03**

Still no change in Keith’s sleeping face, Lance felt his heartbeat pick up. Fatigue slipping away as panic replaced it.

**00:02**

Keith had to be alright. He had to be. Or else Hunk would feel even worse.

The entire awake team would too.

**00:00**

Keith fell limply into Lance’s arms. Lance fumbled to hold him without dropping the well-muscled paladin.

“Why are you so heavy?” Lance hissed.

There was no response.

Lance felt like Blue was sitting on his chest as he tried to breath. “Keith?” Lance asked as he pushed the Red Paladin away from to see his face.

Without Lance’s chest to support it, Keith’s head lolled to the side.

There was a sour taste in his mouth as Lance shakily lowered them to the floor. Keith didn’t wake even when he touched the cold metal floor.

“Keith?” Lance repeated, shaking his self-proclaimed rival’s shoulder. Not even a twitch of a muscle, Lance shook again. His fear leaking into his voice, as he asked again more urgently, “Keith? Keith?!”

Lance pressed his trembling fingers to Keith’s throat, looking for a pulse. A small sigh of relief when he felt the steady beat, but it was not enough to make his panic wane.

They always woke up when they came out of the healing pods.  _ Always. _

Lance found himself in front of Coran’s chambers with no memory of even getting to his feet. He pounded on the door. He could feel his heart racing as his knees felt like they were going to buckle at any moment.

“What is it, my boy?” the elder Altean asked, looking oddly awake for whatever time it was but was wearing an orange striped nightgown and hat to go with it.

Maybe it was just early enough the others weren’t awake yet, but then again Shiro slept minimally. Going off of that, it was probably a horrible time of the night or the Black Paladin would’ve made Lance swap out.

“I--uh,” Lance stumbled. His brain refusing to give him the words to work with. “Keith is out.”

“That’s great!” Coran said, grinning at the human teen. At Lance’s lack of enthusiastic response, it began to fade.

“He’s not awake. I don’t know if that’s bad or wrong, or what’s going on.” The words fell in a hurry.

All traces of the grin on the ginger’s face disappeared, a troubled look passed over his face.

“Number Four isn’t awake?” Coran repeated.

Lance nodded.

~

As soon as Allura was there, Lance got all but shoved out of the infirmary. He was being useful, thank you very much. Handing Coran whatever he asked for- even if he didn’t know exactly what Coran was asking for, stupid different Altean words- and just being moral support in general. The grave look on Coran’s face was not something Lance ever wanted to see again in his life, but he probably would with the way things were going anyway.

The only solace was that Hunk wasn’t allowed in either, not that it was much. Hunk had been bumping into things and trembling like a leaf.

Lance patted his best friend’s shoulder, and coaxed the Samoan to the kitchen. Releasing Hunk into the kitchen was the best thing to do for now, it would get him to think of other things for a while.

Cooking was Hunk’s solace, his safe place. Hopefully it’d put his anxieties to rest for a time and refresh him.

The two fell into a familiar dance, Lance cutting and passing it to Hunk while Hunk stirred and added different alien spices that tasted similar to Earth ones. Lance replaced the silence with stories and jokes. Hunk piping up with a few of his own, mostly comfortable with letting Lance talk his heart out.

~

A few hours later, Pidge was also out of the pods. She was in the same state as Keith.

“They are in some sort of comatose state,” Coran said. His voice was slightly hoarse but close to his usual pep, even if it was clearly forced.

“What do you mean they are comatose?” Shiro asked, crossing his arms.

“They are asleep. Aren’t showing any signs of waking up soon. Everything is how it should be, they are healthy but they are not waking up. To the best of my understanding of humans is that they are in a coma.” Coran tugged at his mustache.

“So, what do we know of what caused this?” Lance asked, looking between the remainder of his team. “It happened during the fight, didn’t it? Maybe that has something to do with it?”

Silence met his question. No one knew what was going on with their comatose teammates or how they got that way.

“They were unconscious when I found them,” Hunk whispered, breaking the silence that had fallen.

“Maybe the answer is on that ship?” Lance rubbed the back of his neck. Lance made a half-grin and said in a forced joking tone, “That isn’t the usual line, eh, ‘the answer is on the ship’.”

“Lance, not now,” Shiro snapped, his Galran metal arm clamping tightly down on his human one. “We don’t have time for you to goof off. With two of our teammates out of commission we have to stay vigilant.”

The words stung, worse than any of the insults Lance had endured during his school days. Instead of coming from his peers, it was much worse, it came from someone he respected and looked up to.

“No need to worry about that, sir,” Lance forced out, painting a half-hearted smile on his face.

“Don’t call me sir,” Shiro said belatedly, his shoulders bound up even tighter.

“Got it.”

Shiro nodded in acceptance.

Without a word from Lance, they continued talking and plotting out what they would do. Never once asking Lance’s opinion about it, or pausing for long enough that Lance could get a word in edgewise.

Bile burning in the back of his throat, Lance kept his mouth shut and allowed himself to be talked over. There wasn’t anything he could add to this conversation anyway. All of his questions were stupid in comparison.

~

In a flash, two weeks --  _ sorry _ , movements had passed. Neither Pidge or Keith stirred even a bit. Comatose seemed to be the case after all.

The longer they were unconscious the harder the rest of them worked to figure out what had caused them to be like this and how to fix it. With none of his team willing to listen to Lance’s ideas and nothing else to offer on the subject, since it wasn’t his forte, Lance focused on making sure the rest of them didn’t run themselves ragged.

It had been bad  _ before _ they found out it was a coma; now, they were ten -- no, a hundred times worse. Lance wasn’t sure how much they slept, if they slept at all when he didn’t make them.

Why couldn’t they care enough about themselves to look after themselves? They needed to look after themselves to keep going, but none of them seemed to understand that; save for Hunk and Coran who did the minimum.

At least they made an effort to get to bed or to eat.

Lance wasn’t ever bringing it up to Shiro again. The Black Paladin had been spitting fire when he snapped at Lance. He had asked Shiro when he ate last, when he had accused Lance of doing  _ nothing _ to help, and that he should go look for an answer and do his job.

The Blue Paladin hadn’t talked with the Black Paladin alone since then.

The sting from Shiro’s words, the accusation that Lance didn’t care as much as they did, stayed stuck there.

How his hero thought that he didn’t care that Keith and Pidge were not awake, Lance couldn’t comprehend. He brushed it off, his hero and leader was clearly under a lot of stress. It didn’t excuse his actions, but there was no way he genuinely thought that.

Not a chance.

Lance was trying to look after them before they got themselves hurt.

Digging his fingernails into his palm as he slunk down the halls, getting told off by the other person that you looked up to so much was rubbing lemon on his cuts, and Allura had been quite clear that Lance should get lost.

Not necessarily in those words, but Allura had told him to “go bond with your Lion”. He had a good bond with the Blue Lion, thank you very much. It was obvious that it was a dismissal; he could take a hint when he wasn’t wanted.

He wasn’t that much of an idiot.

Blue nudged him with an image of obnoxious cartoon hearts. Lance smiled weakly at the comfort.

Underneath the warmth from Blue was a soft, sad rumble. Freezing at the sound, Lance looked for the source. Another one, this time more of a pitiful whimper, rang through his head.

Lance turned in a slow circle, his eyes finding the hangar doors separating him from the Red Lion. 

A shiver ran through him as he stared at the doors. Both Red and Green Lions had been unresponsive since the mission. Whatever was going on with Keith and Pidge, it was affecting their Lions too. Lance was certain of that, at the very least.

“When was the last time anyone checked on them?” He found himself muttering, and despite his apprehension he went into the Red Lion’s hangar.

The massive metal robot cat was collapsed in an uncomfortable looking position. After the mission, the Lion had just crumpled with no explanation or warning. One bad thing after another seems to be the current theme.

“How you doing?” Lance asked, feeling slightly ridiculous trying to talk to a Lion other than his own. One that wasn’t responding to anyone at that. “Keith is in good health… other than him being in a coma… It probably really irks you not to be able to tear apart whatever is going on with him...”

There was no response.

Lance chewed on his lip, unsure as what to say. Normally when he talked to a Lion, Blue responded in her own way. The stunning metal beauty was like family. Sure, that was a little bit of an odd thing to say about a robot cat, but they were sentient robots after all.

Blue reminded him of the ocean and swimming. Things he had at home.

Lance swallowed thickly. He wasn’t even sure if he was ever going to make it home. Being part of a war millennia old put a real roadblock on that.

“Are you and Keith family?” Lance asked softly, tilting his head and studied Red. As if he could read what was going on the inside of the sentient robot’s head.

Sighing, Lance turned around and headed back out of the hangar. He paused at the doorway, looking back at Red.

“We’ll find a way to fix this,” he promised.

There was that sound again, but this time it was more of a warm purr. A thankful kinda sound.

Lance narrowed his eyes at Red, but there was no further rumbles, purrs, or growls. Shaking his head, Lance figured he was looking too deeply into it.

He had talked to Red before, but that had been the night Allura and Keith had taken off. Both of them deadset that the Galra was tracking them and finding Voltron. The Galra had caught up with them anyway and they couldn’t form Voltron. Until the Red Lion had taken off and snapped up the two of them, getting Keith and Allura back to the Castleship in time. Lance had somehow found himself there, worked up over how close of a call that had been, and ranted to Red about her stupid, reckless, idiot of a pilot.

Lance remembered -- and vehemently denied -- shrieking when there was an answering, agreeing growl. A loud growl. Scared the heck out of him.

The Blue Paladin had stared at Red for several minutes before finally snapping out of his stupor, at a nudging rumble. The amusement from both his Blue and Red was almost overwhelming at first. He had only felt Blue’s rolling waves and seagull calls before Red’s heat and crackle of fire joined in.

Blue sent an image of questions marks, startling Lance out of his thoughts. A hysterical giggle escaped his lips as he ran a hand over his face and pushed his fingers through his hair.

Focusing an image of cartoonishly written “Coming! Coming!” Lance sent it back through his bond with Blue. He followed through with his promise, giving a final glance at Red and picked up his pace to Blue’s hangar.

Lance entered the hangar without his usual enthusiasm. Blue sent him an image of a confused look with a surge of worry at his sluggish pace and slouching figure.

“Hey, baby girl,” Lance greeted.  _ Díos _ , even his voice sounded hollow. He winced at another wave of worry and protectiveness, alongside an image of how he looked. His hair wasn’t laying right and his clothes seemed to swallow him, the bags under his eyes were massive. Maybe his team didn’t seem them, but he certainly did and so did Blue. “I’m fine. Really.”

His words didn’t seem to comfort her. He didn’t really think it would. There had been too many times he appeared in the middle of the night with tired eyes and a massive blanket to convince her with empty words.

An image of a warm hug flashed across his vision as Blue lowered her head, allowing him to enter.

With his knees tucked close to his chest, Lance made himself comfortable in the pilot’s seat. “So… Allura told me to bond with you, which is honestly ridiculous, because we have a great bond, thank you very much.” Lance leaned his head back against the headrest. “Shiro had been talking about some plane Black took him to. Maybe we could do something like that?”

Lance chuckled at the image of a handshake followed by one of him sitting criss-cross applesauce that blue showed him, as he relaxed into his seat.

There was a soft nudge from her and Lance crossed his legs with his feet under the opposite leg.

Closing his eyes at her urging, he felt a swooping in his stomach and stumbled. Lance stared as he slowly turned in a circle.

“Blue?”

He could feel her presence, but she was silent. Sighing, he continued his circle frowning at the odd scene.

It was like being in space, in the Northern Lights. Lance’s inner space nerd was freaking out. There was no one in sight. 

Wait…

Lance squinted at the moving figure in the distance. He was moving before he realized he had decided to approach the figure. Long legs ate up the distance, before he knew it, he could see the details.

It was a humanoid figure with black clothing and red and white boots.

The Paladin’s jaw dropped as he recognized the long-haired boy.

“Keith?” he murmured.

The person in question’s head shot up. “Lance?!” Keith scrambled to his feet. “Is it really you?”

“Yeah, man. I-uh, where are we?”

“I don’t know.” Something in Keith’s face unsettled him. “I just woke up here.”

Keith’s voice was hoarse.

“How long ago?”

The Red Paladin just shrugged. Any relief that Lance had felt seeing his friend had dissolved into worry and concern.

“Geez, man, how are you feeling?” Lance asked, feeling Keith’s forehead. Not really believing he was conversing with Keith, not when he had seen Keith’s limp and pale figure in the med bay.

“You care?” Keith sounded like he tried to make it come out snappish, but it fell short. The words were shaky and unsure.

“Of course, man! You’re family!” Lance slid his hand down Keith face and pulled the shorter boy closer to examine him. His face appeared to be paler than normal, and for some reason he was staring wide-eyed. “You should see the team, they are practically falling apart the seams with you and Pidge unconscious. We don’t know why. Shiro and Allura are working really hard at keeping up the appearance of Voltron’s strength, doing research in their spare time. Hunk and Coran are doing research like crazy.” Lance’s voice went quiet. “I don’t know when the last time they slept properly, they don’t want to listen… you could probably get Shiro to relax and recuperate.”

“They are what?” Keith asked, his face scrunching up.

“We’re trying to figure out what happened. I… I have no idea how I’m talking to you right now. Last time I saw you—“ Lance gulped —“you were unresponsive in the med bay.”

“What?” Keith’s breath hitched.

“You and Pidge came out of the pods after the last mission… and neither of you woke. Everyone has been trying to figure out how to wake you up. I’ve been useless.” Lance felt the familiar burn of tears at the image of his family’s limp forms.

“Because you can’t form Voltron,” Keith said suddenly.

Lance frowned at him. “No, because you’re unconscious and i can’t do anything to help.” Lance shook his head as his thumb brushed over Keith’s hair, not quite believing that he was touching an awake Keith. That Keith wasn’t ripping his hands away from him. Keith was leaning into the touch.  _ Is he touch-starved? _ It wouldn’t be hard to believe. “You didn’t see the look on Shiro’s face. He went to the training room after he found out… I think I heard him crying. Hunk… Hunk has been a mess since he found you two collapsed in that druid lab. Allura’s look,  _ Díos _ , her look. Coran is the only one that’s managed not to fall apart, but I know he was crying after all of us were ushered out. It’s been two weeks since you came out of the pod.”

Much to Lance’s horror, Keith began to cry. There was a soft hitch in his breath, a shudder in his shoulders.

Not sure what else to do, Lance pulled him into a hug and rocked him. Humming softly as he rubbed a circle in Keith’s back. Just like the time he calmed his niece Nadia after scraping her knee.

Keith melted into Lance’s arms, his face shoved into Lance’s chest. “I’ve never been family to anyone before.”

Lance’s laugh was watery. “Mullet, just wait until you meet my Earth family. They’ll love you.”

Keith’s response was to tighten his hold on Lance.

“You’re family, Mullet. The hotheated, reckless one of our space family.”

“I thought you hated me,” Keith murmured into Lance’s chest.

“I don’t hate you! I never did! Okay, maybe I hated you a little bit at the beginning, but that was more resentment,” Lance admitted, slouching. “I was always compared to you, y’know? Iverson never let me forget that the only reason I was in the fighter pilot class was because the top student dropped out.”

“Then why are you always picking fights with me?” Keith demanded, scowling at Lance.

“I’m always fighting with my siblings. We can literally fight about anything, but it doesn’t mean I hate them. We tease each other, we argue, but we always have each other’s backs.” Keith’s silence spoke of his shock. “Voltron, the team, we’re family; your family. We’re not going to leave anyone behind.”

Keith’s grip tightened again.

_ Did I say something wrong? _ Lance thought.

“We’ll figure out how to fix this mess, and then I’m going to prove to you just how much you mean to me. I think it’s time to clear the air about some things that are clearly aren’t coming across the right away.” , Lance pressed a kiss into Keith’s hair. “That’s a promise.”

Then his arms were empty. Lance stared at the space Keith had been.  _ This hadn’t been a dream… right? _

A roar shattered his train of thought, Lance blinked again. Blue’s dashboard greeted him.

“What happened?” Lance asked.

“Paladins! Princess!” Coran’s voice came through the comms. “Come to the med bay! Immediately!”

Lance was already out of his Lion and racing down the hall.

Lance slid around the corner and to a stop in front of the open med bay doors.

At his sharp inhale, Keith’s blue violet eyes met his. “Keith?” Lance asked dumbly, stepping into the room.

Tuning into what Coran was saying, Lance caught something about Keith suddenly sitting up out of nowhere. The Altean hadn’t even been near him when it had happened.

Then he blanked, Lance shoved himself between Allura and Shiro. Tucking Keith into his chest, he breathed out shakily as Keith hands hovered over his back before gripping his coat tightly.

“You’re awake,” Lance murmured into Keith’s ear. The Red Paladin nodded. Lance leaned back enough to see Keith’s face, not wanting to pull away, and declared loudly, “You’re probably hungry.”

“Kinda,” Keith murmured, yawning, as his grip relaxed a fraction.

Lance could feel the stares from his team at their uncharacteristic actions. Torn between going after some food goo for Keith and not letting go first, Lance rubbed Keith’s back.

The coming questions would be uncomfortable.

~

After Allura forced them to stop hugging, Lance disappeared. At least tried to.

His arms pulled his knees closer looking at the stars, a soft blanket he had found in his explorations hung around his shoulder. One might think when you spend so much time in space, fighting and trying not to die, the appeal of it would wear off. He still loved space and Lance couldn’t really give up his dream, even if he was thrown all the way across the universe with no way to contact his family. It had dulled some knowing the horrors that the cosmos held, but at the same time space was still comforting.

Even if the view was so different from his own stars back on Earth.

“Hey,” a voice croaked behind him.

Lance’s head snapped up to look at the newcomer. Blue eyes stared wide-eyed at the scruffy appearance of Keith. He had been expecting Hunk to interrogate him over what had happened earlier, his best friend was probably just too busy at the moment.

The thought made his heart sink, Lance quickly shook it away.

“How did you manage to get out of the med bay?” Lance asked instead, watching his fellow Paladin carefully. Keith hadn’t changed out of the cryopod suit. He hadn’t gone back to his room yet.

Keith sorta smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. There was an unfamiliar look in the Red Paladin’s eye that Lance wasn’t sure of. Shiro would know what to do.

“Fine. Keep your secret!” Lance harrumphed, sticking his nose in the air. Then he smiled to make sure Keith knew it was a joke. Gesturing to the area beside him, the Blue Paladin commented, “There’s plenty of space over here for you.”

Lance snorted.

“What?” Keith snapped sounding defensive.

“ _ Space _ . There is always so much space.” Lance returned to his original position, blinking back tears.

He heard Keith as he shuffled across the observatory on unsteady feet. The Red Paladin seemed to be awkwardly standing, not sure on what to do. Lance wasn’t sure either, he had no idea how to handle this side of Keith.

For lack of a better idea, Lance shuffled his blanket around his shoulders and offered a spot next to him with part of it.

As Keith stood there unmoving, Lance’s cheeks started to burn. The words coming out more shakily then he had planned, “Are you going to take it or not?”

That seemed to snap Keith out of wherever his brain had been. He sat down quickly and took the tip of the blanket, pulling his knees to his chest.

A silence fell over them. Lance tried to put together a coherent sentence, thinking of the Astral Plane. That hadn’t been a dream, right?

“I-“

“Do-“

Lance chuckled as their words ran over each other. “You go first.”

The stunned look that passed over Keith’s face sunk in Lance’s stomach. Was he that much of a jerk to him that Keith not only thought he didn’t care. but would talk over him all of the time?

“Do you remember the thing just before... I “woke up”?” Keith asked quietly.

Lance let out a relieved sigh, that was what he was going to ask. “What happened on the Astral Plane wasn’t a dream?”

“Astral Plane?”

Lance shrugged. “That’s what Shiro called it when he was telling us about bonding with Black. That’s what I think it is.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.” Lance nodded. “I meant what I said.”

Keith stared at him again.

Lance shifted, letting his legs go and doing the criss-cross applesauce. “You’re family.” Closing his eyes, Lance inhaled shakily. “I’m sorry for being such a jerk to you that you didn’t think I cared. It’s not an excuse, but I meant it teasingly. Clearly it didn’t come across that way.”

A glance at Keith revealed he was crying.

Lance scrambled to sit up, panic climbing in his throat. “W-why are you crying?” As if he didn’t know before Keith started to hurriedly rub away the tears. “Crying isn’t bad! I just haven’t really ever seen you cry before.”

Keith just gave a big shrug, still wiping at the pouring tears. “Crying is stupid.”

“Crying can be cathartic… is that the right word? Crying can make you feel better by releasing pent up emotions.”

Keith scoffed, his voice wet.

Lance swallowed and turned towards Keith, his heart racing. Keith clearly needed a hug or something.

Opening his arms, Lance gave him a warm smile. Keith looked between his face and his chest, then numbly nodded; like he couldn’t believe this was really happening.

Lance pulled Keith closer and wrapped his arms around him tightly, setting his head on his shoulder. Breathing in deeply, Lance let out a snicker.

Feeling Keith tense, Lance quickly explained, “Are we finally having a bonding moment?”

Keith relaxed, but without seeing his face Lance couldn’t be sure if he was now scowling. Lance claimed he didn’t remember the “bonding moment” Keith said they had had; but in his defense he had been a little busy being in pain and basically in a coma at the time.

“Only if you remember,” Keith snarked.

Rubbing a hand up and down Keith back, Lance breathed out, “I remember.”

~

Reluctantly opening his eyes, Lance squinted at a looming figure.

_ Hunk. _

“Wha?” Lance mumbled, his voice thick with sleep. Slowly starting to feel pins and needles in his limbs.

Hunk just pointedly looked at his weight on his chest. Craning his head, Lance snickered at Keith’s peaceful and drooling face.

“He drools in his sleep.”

At the shake of Lance shoulders, Keith had started waking up. Apparently realizing where he was and who he was with, Keith sat up rigidly straight.

“What?” Keith said as he seemed to blink away sleep.

“You drool in your sleep,” Lance snickered. “Just like Percy Jackson.”

“Who?”

“Percy Jackson, the son of Poseidon. It’s a book series.” 

Keith nodded slowly, still looking confused.

Then Hunk spoke up, “We’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

“Ah,” Lance commented dryly. “Y’know, Keith is a med bay escape-y.”

“Yeah. We’ve been looking for him since he snuck past Allura.”

Lance gave the Red Paladin a surprised look. “You got past Allura?! Wowsers.”

Keith grinned at that. Getting up, Lance stretched and flopped his tingling limbs.

Hunk was uncharacteristically quiet, watching the two of them. “What was that yesterday?”

“Hmm?” Lance yawned as he bent backwards stretching.

“With you and Keith hugging, then you disappearing immediately after you were pried apparent.  _ That _ ,” Hunk clarified.

Both Hunk and Keith’s eyes were on him.

“What?” Lance asked, a little bit defensively. “I can’t hug my teammate, friend, and family member when I want to?”

Hunk just frowned. “I never said you couldn’t, you just don’t usually hug Keith.”

Lance grinned. “We’re up to three hugs!” He turned to Keith. “Wanna make that four?”

Keith just stared at him in shock.

“Why did you take off like something was chasing you afterwards?” Hunk’s dark brown eyes bored into his back.

“Because I didn’t want to be interrogated,” Lance said, flapping his hand. Then he bit his lip. “I think I might have an idea of what’s going on with Pidge, well sorta. It’s kinda crazy.”

The Samoan stared at him. “Really?”

Lance nodded. “I think — look, I know this sounds crazy, but I think she’s stuck in on the Astral Plane. Or at least her consciousness is.”

“What makes you say that?”

The Cuban boy looked at Keith, who shrugged.

“What happened between the two of you?” Hunk asked gently.

“I just made it clear to Mullethead that he’s family. He was under the impression that he wasn’t.”

Hunk blinked, his eyebrows shooting upward. “You actually admitted it.”

“What do you mean ‘actually’?” Lance scoffed. Even though he the terrifying rejection that he was sure to come when he admitted it to Keith, he was sure Keith wouldn’t want anything to do with him past being teammates. Why would he. “He didn’t know, so I cleared that up. I am very open about this!”

Hunk nodded slowly, probably only believing part of it. “We should tell the others about this.”

Lance deflated. The image of Shiro’s snarl danced across his vision. He quickly declared, “You can do it without me!”

He was hurrying down the halls before they had a chance to respond. It was better that they did it. Allura and Shiro would listen to them.

All Lance needed to do was avoid them, avoid being questioned and told off for getting in the way. Again.

~

  
  


A few hours later, and Lance had himself hidden where they wouldn’t think to look for him, on an upper floor of the Castleship and in a rarely used training room.

He had set up a loop for whenever he was in here, not that he thought anyone really cared about checking other floor camera feeds.

Lance threw himself into a tucked roll, avoiding a swing from the training gladiator. Leaping to his feet, Lance blocked the staff with his short sword. He grabbed the staff and kicked the gladiator’s head. His foot shoved into the neck and Lance pushed as he shifted his weight from his hands upwards.

The gladiator stumbled, losing its balance. Lance kept close to its body, spinning the short sword in his hand.

“Lance!” Lance flinched as Allura’s voice crackled over the speakers. “Come to the bridge.”

Lance sighed, as he hopped off of the gladiator he called out, “End training sequence.”

The gladiator fell through the floor as Lance hung his short sword on the training room wall and pressed his hand to the scanner to lock it in place. Hissing at the slight sting of the hand scanner, Lance shook his head.

“Lance,” Allura said again, her tone snappish.

Wincing, Lance booked it to the elevator and slammed the button for the main floor. The sooner he got there, hopefully the less of a lecture he’d get. Not likely, but hopefully.

Lance tapped his fingers on his leg as he waited for the elevator to reach the right floor. His stomach was already trying to make a great escape up his throat. He was starting to wonder just how Hunk handled the urge to vomit when the doors slid open.

He slid out and walked briskly, he didn’t want to get in trouble for being late, but he really didn’t want to be there at all.

“Lance,” came Shiro’s voice.

Lance broke into a sprint, only slowing as he came to the doors of the bridge. Jogging into the room, Lance immediately saw the team standing in a circle around Allura’s spot at the controls.

Lance forced a smile on his face and waved at the group. “Hey! Did ya miss me, Princessa?”

Allura rolled her eyes, a slight frown on her face. “Lance.”

“You called?” Lance said cheekily, adding a wink for effect.

The frown deepened. Lance prepared himself for a lecture.

“Keith and Hunk said you had an idea as to what might be going on,” Shiro said.

“Oh, uh, yeah.” Lance scratched the back of his neck. “It’s really crazy. Like really  _ really _ crazy, even for us.”

“Try me,” Shiro shot back.

Lance winced and blurted it out in a rush, “IthinkPidgesconciousnessisstuckintheAstral—“

“Lance,” Allura snapped. “Slower.”

Lance nodded, taking a deep breath. “I think Pidge’s consciousness is stuck in the Astral Plane.”

“Where did you get an idea like that?” Shiro scowled.

“I think he’s right,” Keith said butting in. The Red Paladin had his arms crossed, and a challenging look on his face aimed at Shiro.

“I do too,” Hunk piped up. “It wouldn’t hurt to try his idea. He could possibly be right. There’s been weirder stuff.”

Lance flinched. Even Hunk didn’t think he could have actual genuinely good ideas. He was the goofball of the team after all.

Allura sighed. “Fine. What’s your idea, Lance?”

Lance shrugged half-heartedly. “We go to the Astral Plane and try to contact her. It’s not like a fine tuned plan or anything.”

“Just how do you suggest—“

“We meditate with our Lions. They would be able to help us there.” Shiro gave Lance an odd look, Hunk had his thinking face on, and Keith… Keith was clearly understanding more than lance was saying. Lance rubbed his hands together. “Yeah, you’re right it’s a dumb idea.”

Lance turned to leave as Coran spoke, “That is quite possible! The previous Paladins had spoken of another plane that they visited while meditating with their Lions. Number Three is spot on!”

“Is there anything else you’ve noticed about the Lions?” Allura asked looking from Coran.

Lance shook his head. The Lions only occasionally talked to him. Other than Blue that is. The other Paladins probably talked to them all of the time. “Can’t say I have.”

“How should we go about this?” Shiro looked between Allura, Coran, and Lance. “Lance, where are you going?”

Reluctantly, Lance turned back to the group. 

~

Lance was more than happy for the meeting to finally break up so he could hide in Blue. Well, not really “hide” since he was supposed to meditate and go to the Astral Plane.

His stomach churned anxiously as he sat in the pilot chair. Pulling one leg up to his chest, Lance leaned his head back against the headrest. Lance tapped a tempo in his thigh, trying to calm down enough to sit still.

Lance closed his eyes, reaching out to Blue. Picturing the Astral Plane he offered it to her. “Can we do the other plane thing again?”

Blue responded heartily with an image of him and her in the Astral Plane.

The comms crackled making Lance wince. Opening his eyes, he gave it a dirty look and shut it off. He’d probably get in trouble for that, but what else is new. Blue sent a wave of warmth to him, he smiled slightly.

Lance leaned back in his chair, closing his eyes again, and exhaled slowly.

There was an odd swooping sensation in his stomach, and he blinked his eyes open again. Somehow it was different, Lance couldn’t put his finger on it. Maybe there were different areas of the plane.

“Lance,” a voice called, an echoing tilt to it.

Turning in a slow circle, Lance tried to find who had spoken. Then the voice spoke again, right behind him, “Lance.”

The Paladin in mentioned jumped, whipping around. His jaw dropped as he saw Pidge and immediately turned into a bright grin. “Pidgey! You’re alright!”

He scooped her into a hug, relief echoing in his body. Pidge made a muffled noise of confusion.

“Oi,” she grumbled.

Lance released her, albeit reluctantly,and beamed at her. “Well, as alright as one can be in a coma.”

“What the heck?” Pidge whispered, confusion shining in her honey brown eyes. “What are you doing here?”

“I came to hopefully get you to come back to us.” Lance watched her face carefully, trying to gauge what was going through her mind.

“Us?” Pidge repeated, raising her eyebrows in doubt. Sarcasm dripping from every word. “Since when is there an ‘us’? I thought, you thought you were too good for us lowly beings.”

Lance stared at her. “What are you talking about?”

“You always acting so aloof! When you’re not being aloof, you’re ditching us!” Pidge crossed her arms, frowning at him.

Lance shrunk under her stare. “You didn’t need me around, being useless and getting in the way.”

“What?” Pidge said. “Since when have you been useless?”

Gaping at her, Lance shook his head. “Since the very beginning? All I ever seem to do is run my worthless mouth and make myself look like a complete idiot. What are you talking about, me thinking I was too good for you guys?”

“You are never hanging out with us, even when we offer you turn it down! If we are not eating together and training together, you avoid spending time with us!” Pidge craned her head forward, scowling at him. “And what is this jibber jabber about you being useless? We’d all be useless without you!”

“Are you on something?” Lance blurted out, looking at his friend and teammate incredulously.

“On the truth!” Pidge shot back.

Lance opened his mouth to respond, only to snap his mouth shut at her look.

Pidge uncrossed her arms and started counting, staring down Lance the entire time. “One, you’re incredible pep talker. Two, you’re our eyes in the sky, looking out for us on missions and in training simulations. Three, I stand by the fact you’re a goofball--” Lance winced at the word -- “and as dumb as some of your jokes are, they lighten up the mood and prevent the tension frommaking us insane. Four, your hugs are amazing. You and Hunk are the hug bros and make sure we all get that… touchy feely stuff out. Five, you are a really creative plan maker. Shiro and Allura will have this solid plan that has a minimal casualty rate, then you come up with this nuts and off of the wall plan that works.”

Lance openly stared at her, his eyes searching hers for any dishonesty. With the familiar burn of tears, he breathlessly asked, “You really mean that?”

“Yes.” Pidge nodded.

Lance let out a shaky breath, a tear rolling down his cheek followed by another, and another.   
The Green Paladin’s face paled as her eyes went wide. “Why are you crying?! Did I say something wrong?”

He shook his head and let out a watery laugh. “No.”

“Why are you crying?”

Lance rubbed at the flow of tears, shrugging a little. “I donna know. Happiness?”

Looking flustered and uncomfortable, Pidge flapped her hand at him. “You’re not ashamed of crying and showing emotions, it’s kinda… I don’t know. Inspiring? Comforting? That we can just let emotions in… in this kind of situation and they won’t crush us?”

Lance sniffled and opened his arms. “Hugs?”

Pidge smiled slightly and nodded. Encircling the smallest paladin in his arms, Lance sniffled again. The day may have started out iffy, but a good hug always made everything better. Maybe not always, but most days.

“You’re important to me, okay?” Pidge murmured into his chest. “I know we’re not best friends or anything like that.” Lance felt like she suckerpunched him. “But you remind me so much of my brother, especially back in the Garrison when you kept me from getting myself into trouble with Iverson. Whenever there is something I don’t understand, you don’t talk down to me for being younger and not knowing whatever it is.”

“You’re like fifteen, you’re getting things figured out. That takes a lot of time.”

“I love that you aren’t bothered by that, I’m just another part of the team.”

“Pidgeon,” Lance said, rubbing Pidge’s back. “You’re the team’s tech genius, just because you’re the youngest doesn’t mean you are any less capable. You never let anything hold you back, and you have years to figure out the emotional stuff.”

Lance felt Pidge’s smile. “Thanks, Lance.” She inhaled deeply. “ When you grin so big and proudly announce something that I’ve done, it’s.. I don’t know. I feel happy that you’re as proud about it as I am?”

“You’re a genius and it’s amazing to see some of the things you come up with.”

Pidge laughed hoarsely. “Most people find that annoying--” Lance frowned at that, if he ever met them… well, he has plenty of words for what he thought of that. -- “I never got why you always pulled away, never spending free time with us.”

“I didn’t want to bug you guys,” Lance breathed out, barely daring to believe he said that aloud.

“You may be annoying sometimes, but only sometimes. Just like I know I can be a brat at times and get on everyone’s nerves. It just happens.”

Exhaling shakily, Lance tightened his hug. “Thanks, Pidgeon.”

Pidge snorted at the nickname. “It’s nothing.”

Lance set his chin on top of Pidge’s, humming softly. “I love you.”

Sneaking a quick kiss into her soft brown hair, he barely caught the “love you too” before the world dropped from underneath his feet.

~

“Lance? Lance?” a voice calling out drifted to him, Lance blinked open his eyes. Cringing at the nausea curling in his stomach.

Is this what Hunk always felt like?

“Wha?” Lance murmured, squinting his eyes. The calls couldn’t be over the comms, he shut that off.

Blue sent an image of Hunk, Keith, and Shiro standing in the hangar all of them looking up. Lance hummed in confusion before it clicked, that was what she was seeing.

“Do you think he’s awake?” Hunk asked, a small frown on his best buddy’s face.

“You’d think so. How long has it been now? An hour?” Keith wasn’t frowning, his expression was what Lance would describe as curious or contemplative.

“Varga,” Hunk corrected.

Shiro didn’t say a word, clenching and unclenching his fists. Lance could see a small furrow between his eyebrows; his leader had something on his mind.

“Lance?” Hunk called, wiggling his fingers at Blue. “You awake?”

Reluctantly, Lance got up. He couldn’t stay in Blue forever, even if he did want to. There were things he had to do, plus Pidge was in med bay. Seeing Shiro was just on the way there.

Feeling his unease, Blue sent comforting images. Waves on a beach, complete with seagull calls and the crashing waves. Followed by him and Hunk curled up in one of their bunks watching a movie.

Lance exhaled slowly before exiting the cockpit and easing down the ramp.

“Heya!” Lance chirped, smiling broadly -- fakely -- at his teammates. Anxiety clawing at his insides as he drew to a stop in front of the trio.

“Lance!” Keith grinned at him. “Did you get to Pidge? Did she have a connection issue, like me?”

Keith shot an almost dirty look at Shiro, confusing Lance even more. There wasn’t even one time Lance could think of that he’d seen Keith give Shiro that kind of look. Shiro stiffened under the look.

“Connection issue?” Hunk looked between the two of them.

Shiro asked hesitantly, “What are you talking about?”

“Yeah, I got to Pidge. I can tell you what happened on the way.” Lance shuffled towards the hangar doors.

“On the way?” Shiro repeated, appearing to be trying to catch Lance’s eyes.

“To the med bay? If Pidge is awake I want to see her,” Lance elaborated, shuffling by his leader.

Nodding a little awkwardly, Shiro took to the front of the group.

Keith ducked his head closer to Lance’s, he whispered, “I couldn’t figure out how to get to the Astral Plane again.”

As Lance opened his mouth to respond, Shiro said, “Lance, you said you’d tell us what happened in the Astral Plane with Pidge.”

“Oh, uh, yeah,” Lance said.

He explained it, leaving out most of the details. Only mentioning the useless feeling part where it was relevant to pidges recovery.

By the time he was finished, they had made it to the med bay. Lance startled as Hunk picked him up in a hug, the bigger paladin was crying.

“Hey, buddy, you okay?”

“I’m so sorry!” Hunk cried, squeezing a little tighter. Keith and Shiro stopped at the open med bay doors.

Lance squeaked out, “What are you talking about?”   
“I didn’t mean to blow you off like that!”

Lance’s panicked expression softened, patting his best friend’s side. “It’s okay. I know you were busy.”

“Still! I should’ve made time for you!”

Lance smiled slightly, hiding it in Hunk’s shoulder alongside a soft “thanks man”.

“Uh, Lance,” Shiro said, his words stilted. Breaking the relaxed moment, Hunk set Lance down gently. “I’m sorry about the other day. What I said was uncalled for. I didn’t mean that you are useless. I got so wrapped up in my own head… not that that is an excuse. I’m sorry.”

Lance blinked. “It’s ok--”

“Hey guys! I’m great! Thanks for asking,” Pidge yelled, interrupting Lance.

“Hey Pidgey! You’re awake! How is it to be back in the land of the awake?” Lance teased, claiming a spot next to the newly awakened patient.

“It’s loud,” Pidge joked, nudging Lance in the ribs.

Lance chuckled as he threw his arm around Pidge’s shoulder. “You know what we should do?”

“What?” Pidge asked snarkily.

“A sleepover.” Lance waved his hand in front of their faces. “Just picture it.”

“What is this sleepover?” Coran asked, looking at the two paladins sitting on the cot.

Lance and Pidge wore matching devilish grin.

Before either of them had a chance to answer, Shiro jumped in, “A sleepover is a party where a group of friends watch movies and talk about stuff.”

Lance rolled his eyes, muttering, “You’re no fun.”

Shiro offered a half-smirk. “Spreading misinformation isn’t right.”

“You’re just waiting until you can mess with them yourself,” Pidge snorted.

Shiro only shrugged in response.

Lance grinned at the group. “We can wear our pajamas, break out some of the movies Pidge has on her laptop. Hunk can try out some of that weird popcorn like, alien food; and pillow fights are a must.”

“Pillow fights?” Allura repeated.

Lance wiggled his eyebrows. “Yes. Only the best part of any sleepover.”

“How would you know?” Pidge challenged.

“Uno reverse!” Lance poked her nose, jerking it back as she snapped her teeth.

“Guys,” Shiro sighed, his grin giving away his amusement. “If you want to have a sleepover, we have to get it organized.”

Lance grinned at them, hope filling him. He hadn’t had a sleepover with anyone other than his siblings and that one time Hunk. Hoping off of the cot, Lance made a break for the door. “Hey, Keith! Last one to get to the blankets is a rotten egg!”

“Oi!” Keith spluttered, taking off after his friend.


End file.
